Not that which I will find ...

Piazza Garibaldi in Parma; same as ever

After living in Italy for almost two months exactly, I finally visited Parma on the 28th of November. By train, the trip takes about two hours. By car, it is probably under an hour and a half because the train runs slowly and with many stops. Each day since I've been here, I get more and more comfortable. Yet, sometimes it still feels like I take two steps backwards for every one step forwards. Things were just easier in Parma. Maybe it was because I was in a program coordinated by BC where I could be certain of everything or maybe it was because I was surrounded by 20 other American college students with whom I could discuss cultural differences. Actually living on my own here in Brescia, there are just more obstacles. I don't have a program coordinator making sure I learn different historical facts about the city or taking me to the best place for a cioccolato caldo [hot chocolate]. I don't have a host family taking care of my apartment when things like the shutters break. Instead, I am in a completely new situation and what I came to realize is this: I am learning. I'm not supposed to already know how everything should go. I am still learning and discovering how to take care of myself and how to live.

On my train home from Verona a couple of weeks before this trip, I looked through my little red notebook where I write down the new words and phrases I learn. The first ten or so pages are from Parma and the rest continues in Brescia. In the first pages I found an Italian saying that my host mother in Parma told me once:

"Chi lascia la strada vecchia per la nuova
                 sa quel che lascia e non sa quel che trova."
"He who leaves the old street for the new
                 knows that which he leaves and not that which he will find.”

I read this saying in my little read notebook and thought, exactly. All I can say for now is that I’m learning. When we completely change our path, we are thinking about what we left behind because everything we are finding on our new path is way too new to recognize. We are used to what we know. Why not go to graduate school? I know what undergraduate college is like; I’ll just be a student for a bit longer. Instead, I don’t know what I'm looking for or finding, only what I no longer have. When I first got to Brescia, I compared everything to Parma. I knew Parma and now I am elsewhere doing something completely different.

Aldo, Anna and me in Parma

I'm not sure what I expected when I went to Parma, but naturally things changed there without me. First of all, the train station is under construction so there is a temporary station off to the side a little bit. I walked out of it into a blizzard and had no idea where I was. Is this even Parma? The station and all of the land in front of it was surrounded by fencing and construction so my whole orientation was construed. I finally found my way to the center and took the same old bus to my past host mother's house. Fabulous lunch with fresh prosciutto and salame with parmiggiano reggiano to start, then lasagna, then veal dish with salad; all with Emilia Romagna's regional wine Lambrusco. The food was almost as good as the company and after, my host mother from the summer program and the program coordinator came over with their kids to see me and join us for Anna's apple cake. For those of you who know my host father Aldo [with grown children and grandchildren himself], imagine him surrounded by four and five year olds playing Ring around the Rosy. They held hands, singing and going around in a circle and then Aldo would get close to the ground and eventually fall just in time for all of the kids to jump on top of him. Classic. 

With Elizabeth who is studying in Parma now

Caterina's two new adopted daughters from Colombia

The old Storefront

Other than seeing my host families and having a wonderful lunch from Parma, I had to go to a particular store to buy some real parmiggiano reggiano cheese. Sorelle Picchi is a store I found when I studied in Parma the first time over the summer has a counter in the front with meats and cheese and other goods and then a restaurant tucked away in the back. Some people didn't even know there was a restaurant in the back. You might recognize the name from John Grisham's Playing for Pizza which takes place in Parma. I made sure that I had enough time after sleeping over with a friend who is studying in Parma now to get there before catching my train, but yet another thing had changed! The store bought the building next door and so expanded their space so that from the street, you see the kitchen of the restaurant on the left and the store on the right. You still walk into the store to enter the restaurant but the entire place is remodeled and there is a new name: Salumeria Rosi Parmacotto for the store and then the classic Trattoria Sorelle Picchi for the restaurant. The woman behind the counter assured me that it was still the same quality, etc just with the new name and remodeling. When I left, I noticed that my bag had the new names, plus addresses. "Via Farini, 27 - Parma" and .... "283 Amsterdam Ave - New York." That's right! Apparently the store behind Sorelli Picchi now exists not only in the US of A but in NYC!

The new Restaurant and Store

After buying 8 kg of parmiggiano reggiano at Sorelli Picchi, I met Caterina's sister Betta for breakfast near the duomo. Caterina has been the long-time program coordinator for Boston College, but now that she has adopted two lovely little girls from Colombia, she has passed on her role to her sister Betta. When I admitted that teaching has been hard and that "I am continuously learning" she said that was good. If I arrived and it was completely perfect and easy, I wouldn't be able to improve. It is better than I start out with something that is a challenge and this way I can improve 100%. I think this is what makes the difference between staying on the old path or choosing a new one. The old path is comfortable and easy because you have already been there, the point of the new one is to be different and challenging. Otherwise it wouldn't be a new path. All in all, my encounter with the old has re-energized my experience with the new. And so, I continue to learn as I know that which I left and not that which I will find.