Missing Buses

Piazza Repubblica, Brescia

“I don’t think the problem is that you miss buses, I think it’s that you try to catch them.” As we were traveling to Viareggio for Carnevale way back when in March, Abby responded this way to my lament about always missing buses in Brescia. My city is large enough to have an extensive bus system, in which I can take a variety of combinations to arrive to school in the morning. Yet, their bus stops are all located in slightly different places so I couldn't just wait at one stop for any bus. Instead for the past seven months, I've felt like a GPS constantly recalculating my route as I've run around to different bus stops checking the times and routes of the buses. Even more, it's really just a game of luck because buses are usually timed for around every 15 minutes but then they can be 10 to 15 minutes late ... in sum, Abby had a good point.

As the weather became nicer, I started to bring a book with me everywhere. So while waiting for a bus to school, to a private lesson, to home, I no longer worried about missing the bus. Instead, I knew that I would most likely miss the bus. I actually planned on missing the bus and so brought a book to read while I waited. I no longer told my private lessons that I would be there at 4 pm. I'll be there around 3:45 to 4:15 pm, depending on the bus. When I met an American working here as a nanny and we scheduled a lunch, she asked if 1 pm worked. I said, yes 1 pm ... plus or minus 10 - 15 minutes. Her response? Italian time! Sounds good to me. The best part is that no one minds. There is no urgency in planning or organizing things, letting someone know something last minute is completely normal.

Americans are always in a rush. We schedule a million things to do immediately and actually expect to get them done. This is probably the biggest lesson I've had to learn here. Patience. There is just no urgency here. When the bus or the train arrives, it arrives. It's a cultural difference but also I think a way to approach a cultural exchange. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to impose your expectations in a culture where they do not exist. Which reminds me of the next big lesson: Acceptance. Last year at a seminar on university policy, one of the Jesuits Father Jack explained this concept with the example of Villanova University. They believe that caffeine is damaging and so they don’t sell it on their campus. Well, this is a problem because Father Jack drinks a lot of coffee. Does he really have the right to demand that the university sell coffee because he doesn’t agree with their judgment on caffeine? No! But what is to stop him from making a 10-cup pot of coffee himself while visiting the campus? Nothing! You don’t have to participate in something you don’t believe in, but you can’t demand your customs every where you go, just because you’re there. 

Sometimes I felt like "missing buses" would be a good way to describe my life here. Even if I arrived at the correct minute on the schedule, I was always just a step or two behind and I missed the bus. Then my American mind worked overtime to figure out what other bus I could possibly take to not be late for my classes or responsibilities. I may think ahead to organize plans for my life, but I can't expect others here to do the same. What would happen if I walked into a class 5 minutes late because I missed the bus, absolutely nothing. I may feel too responsible to be late, but in fact the other teachers are late all the time. 

Since my gym membership ran out at the end of April, I decided to only take the bus this month to where I can't walk. So I don't think I'll be trying to catch buses much anymore. But when I do, patience and acceptance have to come through - so it's not about catching or missing buses but taking then whenever they come.